How many times a week does your family eat dinner together? According to the latest study from the Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA Columbia) the answer to this question may be directly related to the risk of your teen’s drinking, smoking, or using other drugs. More specifically, compared to teens having frequent family dinners (five to seven per week) those having infrequent family dinners (fewer than three such meals) are: More than two times as likely to use alcohol More than four times as likely to use tobacco Two and a half times as likely to use …

There is something magical about a bookstore. It doesn't matter if it is a mom-and-pop shop bulging with gently read volumes and located on a two-lane country highway or a large chain store featuring New York Times best-sellers in its window in the middle of a busy urban mall. It is irrelevant whether the proprietor gives a customer change from coins and bills secured in a worn cigar box or if employees use the latest technology at the checkout counter. Wherever it takes place, the experience of hands-on browsing in a bookstore is physically, emotionally, and spiritually transformational. It …

Imagine driving in a heavy rainstorm and seeing a sign that the road ahead is dangerously flooded. Would you heed the warning, turn around, and find another route? "Of course," you say. "Who wouldn't?" Sadly, this answer and your behavior are likely to be different if you have consumed a few drinks. Despite rationally knowing the potential consequences of ignoring the flood alert, you will probably continue driving forward at the same speed while mumbling that such signs always exaggerate conditions.  Perhaps soon you get stuck in high water, and a good samaritan is able to push your car to …

Despite the gagging humidity and flood-making storms, August is my favorite month.  I am a shameless Little League World Series junkie, and ESPN is feeding my craving by televising all the playoff games that lead to a Little League champion being crowned in Williamsport, Pa., later this month. I'm staying up later than normal and spending too many hours in front of my television, but it is totally worth it.  I'm watching baseball the way it should be played. Budding talent, focus and intensity, sportsmanship, and fun all rolled into a package not often seen in the major or minor leagues. This…

As parents, we quickly learn that each of our children has a distinctive personality.   One may easily adapt to changing circumstances while another tests every limit and uses the word "no" long after the "terrible twos" are chronologically over. A third may be a ball of physical energy and constantly on the go, while his or her sibling prefers to read or play quietly. Some children are capable of a great deal of self-regulation with regard to school, home, and social tasks. They are able to easily decide on goals and select strategies for achieving them with a minimum of adult intervention. …

When I moved to the area in 1975, the first person I met was Mr. Keller, the letter carrier for my block. Although he had no mail for us that day, he stopped to chat and welcome us to the community. Over the years, he would arrive like clockwork at 10:45 a.m. and cheerfully pick up outgoing mail, answer questions about how best to send a package, and/or chat about the weather. He never complained about the number of thick department-store Christmas catalogs he had to carry or the mountain of college bulletins that arrived when my kids grew older. Our part of town doesn't have curbside mail …

There is good news from Canada for parents of teens. Contrary to popular belief, a significant number of young people both value and incorporate parental values into decisions regarding sexual health issues.   A recent study revealed that nearly one of every two students ages 14 to 17 identified their parents as their most important role model in this area. The influence of friends came in second, and the power of celebrities was a distant third.  Too bad we parents aren't aware of this high regard!  Mothers who responded to the same survey seriously underestimated their own importance as …

East Windsor is a relatively safe place to live, but it is not crime-free.  The police force is excellent, but their numbers are limited. Partnership with the community is essential in maintaining community security.  Studies have shown that crime levels are lowest in neighborhoods in which there is a sense of community or mutual trust among neighbors, combined with a willingness to get involved in achieving a common good. There was a time when neighbors could tell you the names, life history, and values of every family on their block. They made time to interact, compare notes, and share lawn…

Do you have a felt-tip marker, deodorant spray, air freshener, or container of paint thinner in your home? How about gasoline, glue, or hair spray? Do you use compressed air to clean your computer or spray your frying pan with oil before cooking? "Of course" is the usual reply. When used appropriately, these items allow us to accomplish a variety of routine daily tasks. Sadly, these inexpensive and readily obtainable items are also used by young teens to get high by "huffing." This practice involves the deliberate inhaling of chemical vapor products, such as those listed above, in order to …

"E" is back in the news. That's ecstasy, the 1990s club-drug favorite associated with all-night dances, or "raves." After a decline in popularity, it has once again become increasingly fashionable with teens. The percentage of eighth-grade students across the country saying they used ecstasy at least once in the past year increased from 1.3 percent to 2.4 percent from 2009 to 2010. Past-year use for their 10th-grade peers increased from 3.7 percent to 4.7 percent during that time.* There is no reason to suspect that these figures are significantly different in South Brunswick. As the use of …

Spring 2011 has been glorious. Clear, cool mornings, warm afternoons, and chilly nights have created early yellow flowers on tomato plants, and most lawns have already been cut four or five times. In a few weeks, local schools will release students for summer vacation. While some teens will head for camp or to a job, all will have an increased amount of free time to spend with friends. Ideally, during this period new skills will be learned, healthy relationships will be forged, and lasting memories will be created. For some teens, this increase in unstructured and unsupervised time will not …

I lost my oldest friend Michael recently, and life has not been the same. At age 68, I am learning firsthand the enormous emotional impact of loss for older folks. When I was younger I knew when people, places, and things reached their expiration date, that I still had time to find substitutes. Today, I realize this is no longer true. The friendships I am losing have taken decades to mature. Petty quarrels have been worked out and personal limitations accepted. We have respect for the journey each of us has taken and how strong life has made us. We can say anything to each other. In short, …

The last thing I ever thought I would be doing is writing a column defending the McDonald’s Corporation's right to market junk food to children. But the recent open letter to McDonald’s CEO Jim Skinner, which was signed by more than 550 health professionals and organizations, leaves me no other choice. While this group correctly identifies the seriousness of childhood obesity, it incorrectly identifies the party/parties responsible for this epidemic and, in the process, over-simplifies the solution.  The Letter Written by the nonprofit group Corporate Accountability International, the letter …

It's no secret that Mother Nature has been creating extreme weather challenges around the world. The most recent event – tornadoes that ripped through six southern states and killed at least 343 people – was the second-deadliest, single-day tornado episode in United States history.  The aftermath of these storms in the South is mind-boggling.  Not only were there more than $2 million in insured property losses and widespread power outages, but emergency resources such as Red Cross shelters and fire trucks were destroyed. On a psychological level, the traumatic effect of such rapid and …

Every home should have a window overlooking a spot where birds and squirrels gather to feed. Mine does, and for years I have been putting out black-oil sunflower, millet, thistle and other seed in feeders and sprinkled on the ground. This small investment treats me to a relaxing experience that never ceases to delight. Right now, the late afternoon sun spotlights a pudgy baby squirrel who is sitting upright, digging for sunflower seeds and deftly using both paws to open each shell. I feel guilty that some of his girth is due to the frequency with which he visits my yard! A Lesson in Trust He …

We all have attended parties at which people drink too much alcohol. Some become happy drunks and laugh or tell funny stories. Others get weepy and dissolve into a puddle of self-pity. At least one angry drunk is likely to pick a fight in order to have a loud verbal or physical confrontation.  Rounding out the quartet – and often sitting alone in a corner -- is the silent drunk who knocks back beer, wine, or hard liquor until he or she throws up, passes out or departs. It is fairly easy to identify and interact with a party drunk. The situation itself is superficial and temporary and the …

"Right from the moment of our birth, we are under the care and kindness of our parents, and then later on in our life when we are oppressed by sickness and become old, we are again dependent on the kindness of others." – His Holiness, the Dalai Lama It has been four weeks since my daughter, Kate, has been able to walk without crutches. Her lower left leg sports a multi-autographed purple cast, and she is not allowed to let it touch the ground. Ankle surgery for a torn ligament has compromised her previously effortless ability to stand comfortably, climb her front steps, shop unassisted, cook…

Some of my happiest childhood memories are of spending summer afternoons at Ebbets Field watching the Brooklyn Dodgers play major league baseball. The manicured kelly-green outfield grass offered dramatic contrast to the adobe dirt and brilliant white baselines of the infield. Veteran Dodger players like PeeWee Reese and Gil Hodges were friendly and never refused an autograph request. Even the Ebbets Field ballpark vendors were amazing. They proudly wore Dodger blue and walked the stadium aisles hawking scorecards and pennants during pregame activities. When the game started, hotdogs with …

When was the last time that you shared an emotionally intimate conversation with a perfect stranger that deeply affected your life? I call such experiences "stuck in the elevator" moments. These are times when perfect strangers are forced to spend time together and voluntarily share core feelings without ego or self interest. Moments of profound emotional and spiritual intimacy occur, even though the participants may never meet one another again. I've had such experiences in stalled elevators, but most have occurred during airport delays, on long Amtrak rides between New Jersey and Washington…

His name is Gregory House, and for the past seven television seasons he has been head of the Department of Diagnostic Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, solving complex mysteries that elude ordinary medical minds.  He is also an impaired physician, a drug addict whose primary drug of choice is Vicodin — and the lead character in the Fox network hit series House, M.D.  Like any active addict, House will go to any extreme to obtain Vicodin, including lying to doctors, forging prescriptions and even stealing medication from dead patients. When caught, he can be charming, pitiful…