Do You Give Your Children Chores?

Moms Talk is a new feature on Patch that is part of a new initiative on our sites to reach out to moms and families.

Patch invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families right here in the East Windsor-Hightstown-Cranbury area.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council—Susan Masone, Siri Heinrichs, Cristina Fowler, Christine O'Brien and our intrepid columnist Lauren Kim—takes your questions, gives advice and shares their solutions to the problems vexing all of us.

Have a question you would like to share, or just want to provide your opinion on the question of the week? Head over to the comments section to do just that.

So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation today with the following question: 

Do you give your children chores? Why or why not?

Siri Heinrich: I’ve been struggling with figuring out consistent chores for my girls (ages 6 and 4). I definitely think the 6 year old is ready for some, but we haven’t come up with anything that happens on a regular basis.  Both girls do cleaning now and then and empty the dishwasher when I ask.  But I am a bit of a control freak and have a little trouble giving up the reigns in these areas!  When I was a kid, my brother and I rotated “kid of the week.” The “kid of the week” got good stuff (control of the remote, the good seat in front of the TV and in the car, etc.) but also the week’s chores.  I will probably follow a similar process once I figure this all out!  

…I look forward to hearing other’s responses on this one, maybe I’ll get some good ideas!

Susan Masone: Do I give my children chores?

My girls started asking for chores this past winter when we had all that snow that needed to be shoveled.... and squinkies became so popular.

A couple of weeks ago, my two older girls decided that they wanted to start buying things on their own.  They offered to do some chores around the house.  I have to say, they did a great job, but I realized that they need to have more steady chores on a regular basis.  They do have the basic chores of clean their room, set and clear the table and put their clothes away, but two weeks ago I realized that I need to assign set household chores that do not just benefit themselves personally but benefits the family as a whole. 

That is my next project.  Giving each girl "set assignments".  I am sure there will be some resistance in the beginning but it will be a good life lesson in the long run.  When we go over these set assignments I will have to "reward" them with a stipend.  I think that in the long run, this will prove beneficial for the girls, myself and the family as a whole. 

~The girls will benefit two fold.  In their minds they will be able to learn how to handle money when they are earning it themselves.  They will also learn how to accomplish more skills that they will need to carry into older years.

~My benefit is obvious.  Once I get past the stress of repeating to get the chore done, I can start taking items off my "mom's 100 things to do in one day" list.

~The family will benefit in the sense that we will have more time to do family things since the chores will be done quicker with more hands helping out. 

Lauren Kim: At the moment, the only "chores" that my 7-year-old daughters have is to feed their goldfish twice daily, to pick up after themselves when playing or doing crafts, and to keep their bedroom somewhat neat. My daughters, however, have asked for chores, so I may start giving them some. They want to do chores not because they are expecting money for completing them (I don't think they know that some kids get paid for doing chores), but because they want to help out. Whenever I start dusting, cleaning, etc., my daughters usually want to jump in and help. I think it will be a good idea to have them start helping around the house -- it will teach them shared responsibility, as well as give them some life skills (cooking, cleaning, etc.) they will need later on. My husband and I agree that we won't pay our daughters to complete chores -- we agree that keeping our home neat and running is a shared responsibility -- if it comes to a point that my daughters want some spending money, we can figure out other options for providing it.

Christine O’Brien: Yes, we do assign chores to our children.  We think it is very important to teach our children that a family works together to keep the house looking nice since the house belongs to all of us.  It also teaches responsibility and accountability.  The chores are simple and include making their beds, feeding the pets, setting the table, emptying the dishwasher and taking out the trash.  The children do not get paid for doing the chores just mentioned.  However, if a task was completed that was not on the list, he/she may receive financial compensation for their efforts.  Unfortunately, it is sometimes more of a “chore” for us to remind them to do their chores.

Cristina Fowler: We are your typical family of four.  We have a house with a yard and two dogs.  We have a chore chart.

Our chore chart is mounted in the kitchen and is as much a part of our family as our extended network of family and friends.

We incorporated the chore chart around the time our daughter turned 4.  We kept it simple then: Clean Up Toys, Share with your Brother and Mommy is Not a Tissue.  But since then, our chore chart has evolved to Make Bed, Clear off Table, Set Table and my personal favorite, Do Me a Favor (and thankfully Mommy is not a Tissue was dropped from circulation).  Each time our children complete a task, they write their initial on the chart.  On Saturday morning, they eagerly await the chore chart assessments and pay out.

This chore chart has been instrumental in so many ways:

• Accounting - Our daughter, especially, has learned so quickly how to count money. Our younger one is getting there.
• Budgeting - a $3 pay out will not cover the cost of the $10 Barbie Doll. But 35 chores in the coming weeks will.
• Tithing - We encourage the kids to put a small portion aside for those that are needy.
• Savings - The kids place a small portion of their pay out in the Vacation Jug which they know will buy ice cream, mini golf and water park tickets at the beach.

And best of all,the four extra little hands make a world of difference in our home.